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I got my new glasses today!! I love them. I can look down and up and they stay on my face. For months (yes sad I know) I have had to hold my glasses at the bridge if I want to look down or heaven forbid, walk with my glasses on (they used to slide down my face) but now they are snug in place. I promised the optician man that I would not adust themmyself. He was so dframatic when he told me not to, its was cute and made me not feel so dumb  silly for trying to adjust them myself.

My mother and I went to pick up my glasses and when she got home there was a message on the answering machine from the doctors office.

This past monday she went for a mammogram and today they called and left a message for her to cal back. Now she is worried, afraid, and obsessing. On the drive home with my new glasses on I thought to myself 2012 is going to be a great year and I am so glad my mother is Cancer free. I have faith that she is fine and we have nothing to worry about yet I hate that she is worried and afraid. I hate that she is afraid….

I called my SIL who is a nurse and she told me that just because the doctor called doesn’t mean its bad news. I agree. My mother thinks that when the doctors office calls after a test its always bad news and I HATE that she thinks that. All the tests she has done so far in the past month have been great and she had had nothing but positive news from all of them. I hate that now I am wondering the same thing about this message though deep down I have faith that she is fine.

I wish she was stronger. She stands in church and proclaims victory over Cancer almost every Sunday yet today she sat after telling me she got a missed message and looked like the doctor just gave her the worst news of he rlife and its all from her imagination. We don’t know, so why assume the worst? She’s on the phone with her friend now who is a pastor. I hope when the call is over she will be in better spirits because I have run out of things to say and I wish she would hold tighter to her faith and just believe. You are what you believe not what you feel. I want her to believe and not worry.  I don’t want to worry.

Oh man….