It’s been a while since I updated this post. Reason being is I have been keeping busy, facing this head on and quite frankly feeling ALOT better about everything. Like a lot.
He’s not for me plain and simple and it took a short while to face it, accept it and begin to put it behind me but I have. He came back around though. Told me he is sorry. Told me he wants to make it work. The standard BS a man will say when he realizes he F’d up! But he hasn’t changed and I can’t sit around and accept his disrespect in the name of love. I have to choose myself and I have to love myself more than that. I’m not ugly. I am an attractive young woman who has a very bright future and a bright present. He will just bring me down. Not only that but he confessed to trying to get me pregnant. I think that smacked me really hard in the face because I am not ready for a child right now especially since I am not working FT job and also my business has become my FT. Not to mention he’s an asshole who would use the child to try and control and manipulate me. No thank you. Disrespectful, controlling and a baby father? Uh Uh…I’m gone!
Thank God for period app’s and the day I downloaded and updated it regularly!
So on wards and upwards. Honestly for the 2 weeks I considered reconciliation (before the man confessions including the baby thing) I didn’t sleep well. The moment I closed the door on that relationship I went to bed that night and slept so good! My spirit wasn’t settled. My mind wasn’t settled and my gut didn’t feel comfortable being with him.
This will be the last time I post about him. I’ve talked to myself about him when things pop into my mind because you believe more of what you say to yourself than what other’s say to you. So I have done a lot of positive self talk, encouragement and “therapy” and it’s paying off in spades. I’ve reduced the frequency of talking to my friends about him by 80%. Every once and a while when I feel a down moment I call up a girlfriend and she helps me to get out of my head and gives me another perspective which I incorporate into my positive self talk.
I’ve reluctantly started dating again. Not because I am ready but it is actually helping me to not hate men and see that there are gentleman out there. I’ve gone on a date with 2 so far. 1 pissed me off on text earlier today so we will see if he will be texting again (I honestly don’t care if he doesn’t – I’m not tolerating nonsense), the 2nd is cool and quite the gentleman but I am NOT ready to date anyone seriously at ALL!!!! I’ll fill you guys in on how that’s going regularly! I’ll also post about the 1st guys date and the shenanigans that ensued with that…..all I have to say is sigh…and NEXT!
Ciao for now!