It all started with a Facebook notification. Rico had been messaging me on and off for 4 months all of which  I ignored. I wasn’t interested and I didn’t even know this guy. But this time his message caught my eye so I replied and talked back and forth till I agreed to meet him for drinks. It actually turned out to be a good time but I wasn’t ready to date anyone néw seriously  because I just broke up with my ex 2 weeks before. Maybe my fault  but I was straight forward with Rico from the start.

My friends kept telling me that he might be worth a try because he treated me  nicely, he was tall and  very handsome. Well Rico thought so too. He was pushy and too affectionate and eventually revealed quite jealous and insecure. At the same time I was getting to know Young Ting, a 22 year old guy at my job who also liked me. As well another guy named John. I was enjoying not having to commit to anyone and exploring my options. It was freeing.

But Rico kept pushing and I kept standing my ground. Till one day I had a talk with my cousin who told me I should either let Rico go or commit since till that point he had shown great interest and was a good guy. Sure on paper he seemed good but I didn’t have a good feeling deep down about him something was off ( like his insecurity and jealousy wasn’t enough of a sign). Oh!  Did I mention he had 4 kids and an ex wife?

I look back now and I realize I let way too many people advise me instead of listening to myself. I wanted to drop him. Instead I comitted, dropped the other 2 and stayed with Rico. Big mistake.

Thanksgiving weekend he seemed a bit off. In fact for the past 2 weeks he seemed weird and off. Well that weekend he went to dinner with his family and never called me back. Yep, you read that right. To make it better I had a feeling he was ao i texted aaking how he waa doing and watched him read it and not reply. Pissed me off. Shortly after that he deleted all of my pics off his instagram and put up new ones of him and another woman. His ex wife!

I don’t think furious is the word. Deep down my gut told me before I saw the pics but when I saw them with my own two eyes I was livid. I told him off and blocked him off of everything. This made him furious because he liked to creep me on social media (he told me so – part of his jealousy and insecurity) so he posted more pics till I eventually stopped checking his page because it was crazy to torture myself this way.

I acted like I was more ok than I was because I didn’t want to seem like that girl to other people but it really hurt me considering I gave him a chance, stepped over my own feelings of uncertainty, tolerated his small penis and he ended up leaving the way he did.

But I’m thankful. It was a lesson to not settle (which I did), listen to myself (which I didn’t),  accept that certain things are not for me (jealousy & uncertainty -obviously and a small penis -the sex was trash) and not not be afraid to walk if something isn’t for me (small dick, trash sex and insecurity issues not to mention 4 kids). Huge lesson.

John contacted me and we started dating mid December but ended right after my birthday earlyJanuary. He was and still is a disrespectful asshole and I refused to allow that negativity in my life. He didn’t see it that way and holds it against me. Interesting that he should think so when by his own admission girls before me including his recent ex told him the exact same thing. Next!

Lessons learned in 2014. My next post will continue my lessons learned.

Oh and Rico got told off something dirty by his female co workers when they found out what he did to me. He ended up dropping the ex wife for a new ting in the US. The ex wife was left without him or her then boyfriend whom she dropped to reconcile with her ex husband for. No idea what’s happened to him since tho. Don’t care.