I wont lie, I feel depressed. I sat here and it dawned on me that this is how i’m feeling right now. I feel this way for two reasons. I’m sure one might be obvious but the other not so much. Lately I have been really working hard on my jewelry line doing videos, shows etc. I have a small group of friends and lately they seem to be no where to be found. Like my phone doesnt ring at all. My best friend is going through something and has disappeared, my other friends dont answer their phones at all. So I’ve decided to not call them either. No point if they wont answer. It hurts my feelings because I’d like my friends to share in my triumphs and my defeats. But they are no where to be found so I stamd on my own. When I feel like talking to someone I keep it inside. When I feel like having company to go somewhere with I go on my own. I pray a lot and talk to god because for one he hasnt told me to shut up yet and if anyone wil, u derstand how I feel its him still I feel alone.
I had an epiphany Friday that maybe the reason my friends are no where to be found is because I am going ina different direction then they are anf maybe they cant relate anymore. I gelt betyer yesterday today I feel sad and alone. Which brimgs me to the 2nd reason I feel deptrssed. I went to dinner with L and while we waited I told him about my epiphany. He told me what he thought then revealed that he plans to immerse himself in the new city and basically cut off everything crom Toronto.
Well if its not plainer than that…
You want to know what I want? I want someone who will want me. I want someone to love me for me. I want someone who will treat me like I am the most important person, cherish me and love me.
I dont know why I’m sharing this with you all. My thoughts are scattered. Sorry.
I’m gonna go now. Goodnight