Its 2012 and I can’t believe its here. I am happy that it’s a new year but I am feeling a bit anxious about what I can do about 2012. 2011 I was in a different head space. I thought I had to quickly “get over it” and I was eager to move on and be happy. I was in a rush to forgive him and show him I was a great girl that he should have in his life. I was in denial to the depths of the rejection he had dished out to me and that was going to change soon and it did. So after getting slapped in the face with the truth I had to re-focus my efforts and energy in to finding things that I loved and enjoyed to do because until that point my who enjoyment was surrounded and enveloped in this person that I “loved”. Figuring it out was fun and I discovered a lot about myself. Begininng to date was also new and exciting and it was new and fun. I learned a lot from that too but one of the most important things that I learned was I was not ready to date,and I get violent when someone invades my personal space (remember me punching Europe in the gut?). Despite it all 2011 ending with a smile and I don’t scorn the year as a whole.
Now I am 5 days into the new year and I am a bit unsure about where I should go from here. I grieved, I cried horribly and laughed uncontrollably. I dated and hated it. Started school and excelled at it and stated some new financial strategies that I am excited about. A year ago, I thought I was going to rekindle my failed relationship if I just changed some things about myself. That illusion crashed down to earth quickly and shattered into the reality that it’s not going to happen because its not the right thing for me. I then thought if I put myself out there I would be in a relationship with someone else by now but again hindsight shows me that my journey was going to take longer then the 4 months I told myself I needed to “get over it” and if I did meet that great guy I wouldn’t be able to be the kind of good girlfriend to him that I would want to be.
So now that I have this hindsight I wonder where do I go from here? Whats my next step onmy journey to living well? I plan to continue my education and reach those goals. In fact, I have a lot of goals. So how do I get there? Where do I go frm here?