He’s been on my mind. Its normal or so I’m told. I on the other hand hate it! Sometimes I remember things that he said or did and they suddenly make sense where they previously didn’t. Basically it all culminates into him looking worse and worse in my eyes. So why do I miss him sometimes? Could it be that I miss the comfort and familiarity that I don’t have with anyone right now? Do I still love him? If I do what does it mean?
Sometimes when I ask myself why am I not completely healed I remind myself that us humans are a bit more complicated than that and require time to heal. I loved him and he left. I accept that but what hurts still are the memories and the promises I bought into that are so different than the reality. What a tangled web we weave when we lie. The feelings we hurt, the sadness we create and the distrust that comes from it.
I guess I just needed to get it off my chest and say out loud…”It still hurts me”.
Till next time…