Last week I did some serious spring cleaning in October. I found stuff that I forgot I had that had bad memories attached to them; shoes, clothes, gifts and I tossed them. It felt good to get my space in order. One thing about me is I don’t like clutter. I hate it but I have a tendency to save stuff “just in case”. Next thing I know, “just in case” has turned into months and months and that “Just In Case never happens. So last week, when I went through my stuff, threw out things I didn’t want, and alloted things in a “keep” pile and a “give this away” pile I felt good. I’m sitting here looking at area’s in my space that formerly drove me insane with clutter that are now clear and I feel a sense of relief.
When was the last time you went through all your stuff and decided to let things go? Throw out or give away things you really don’t need? Or discover that things you thought you needed, were always in your stash of stuff? I recently discovered some stuff that I thought I didn’t have but I really needed. It saved me money because it was stuff I thought I needed to buy.
How many times do we do the same thing with people in our lives? We hold onto people we know we should let go off, who are taking up unnecessary space. But we let them stay because we are comforted by them being there, even though we know we can surive without them? Or how many times do we hold onto habits and situations that we know is not good for us, but we make up so many excuses to not get rid of them. “I’m busy”, “It’s too hard”, “I don’t want to deal with this”?? The problem with avoidance is, you can put your head in the sand for a little while but the problems will always catch up with you. Don’t let your problems catch up with you while your head is still in the sand. All that does is blindside you to how bad your problems became while you were “busy” turning your back and telling yourself it’s too hard to deal with.
So ask yourself, What kind of stuff are you holding onto? Emotionally? Is it materials things? People who create certain situations? Places you frequent that causes you drama? Friends who cause you drama? Sometimes we are so caught up in trying to be a good friend to someone else and be there for them, that we forget to be the same kind of friend to ourselves and look out for our best interests as well. I think women have that concept misunderstood. If you look out for your best interests in something then you are a bitch. But when men do that they are being smart and doing the right thing. Recognizing when being there for someone else is to your own detriment is not being a bitch, its being smart. If a guy sees that a friend’s behaviour is beginning to negatively affect him, he limits his exposure to that friend because he recognizes that it is not in his best interest to spend so much time with someone who’s actions are negatively affecting him. He doesn’t feel bad about it, he does it because it makes sense and it’s the right thing to do for himself. Not us women, we start accusing ourselves of being bitches and mean and not a good friend which is wrong.
I made a post about my friend “A” which perturbed a few people. I understand why it would but my point about being her friend and recognizing when her behaviour is beginning to negatively affect me is the first step in self preservation. A much as I love “A” we don’t have the same perspective on certain things. When we go out I don’t feel comfortable with some of the people and places she likes to go to. My gut screams at me asking what am I doing there? A womens gut is always right. A part of me feels bad but everytime I go out with her something reckless happens and I end up driving home thinking about how much I should have listened to my gut. So as much as I love her I limit my exposure with her.
I hope I’ve given you all some things to think about. Talk to you all soon.