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Hello everyone!

SO your single in the city and wondering how to get out there and attract the right guy. But every time you go out no one approaches or if someone does approach its someone you would never talk to who ignored all the signs that you weren’t interested and proceeded to make his way over to you anyway.

Maybe it’s not him, or them. Maybe its … You?

Ever wonder why you haven’t attracted the one for you? Do you wonder why you go out and no one approaches you at all but they make a B line for your friend instead? What are your projecting in your body language and vibe? A good way to check you pulse (the vibe your giving out) is by checking what your thinking. Are you thinking positive thoughts? Or are you engaged in self-defeating talk?

You see, you become what you most think about. If you think negative self-defeating thoughts then that is what you project to the world and that is what you give out and ultimately get back. So if you are ready to change the pulse of what you are sending out to the world and are ready to attract men and women to you then read on.

1. Project Confidence and Positive Self Esteem

When you are comfortable and confident in yourself and your sexuality it shows. It oozes out of your pores and communicates in the way you carry yourself, the way you walk and your mannerisms. Men love a woman who is confident in herself, and her body. It translates as sex appeal, and it intrigues them and that my loves is what you want. When a man is intrigued by you, the gears begin turning in his head and you suddenly have his attention and his thoughts on you; which is what you want. All thoughts on you! When you feel confident you can flirt with ease and keep things light and airy! Write this down ladies, men like light and airy flirty talk from women. Its free and flows effortlessly and feels NATURAL. And don’t forget to smile when you are doing it. Men love a bright and natural smile. It shows a happy countenance and men are attracted to happy, confident, flirty women.

When I went to my friend “I”‘s wedding, I felt confident, flirty and happy. I walked into the room and the first thing I thought was “I own this room”. I smiled and walked confidently into the room. A remarkable thing happened. The men noticed, some women squirmed uncomfortably and I smiled graciously. My tummy wasn’t as flat as I wanted it mainly because the afternoon before I had some nachos and cheese knowing I am lactose intolerant. But I didn’t care. I stood up straight, sucked it in (when I needed to), and walked like a movie star. I had a fun and flirty night 🙂

2. Respect yourself

A woman with boundaries is a woman who respects herself and any man she meets who comes upon those boundaries, even if he protests at first will always gain her respect. A woman who doesn’t have boundaries or allows a man to trample on them will lose a man’s respect for her. No man, no matter how good-looking, charming, generous, “nice”, or kind is worth busting up your boundaries for. A lot of women fear that boundaries will lessen their likelihood of having a boyfriend but ask yourself, do you want any old man, good or indifferent to be your boyfriend or do you want a respectful and compatible man to hold that title? Does quantity and the likelihood of having a boyfriend trump the quality of the man? Stand firm on your boundaries, communicate what they are and don’t allow anyone to talk you out of what is important to you or what you are not comfortable with.  Also, don’t let anyone to convince you to go against your boundaries by asking you to go with the flow and stop being so uptight.  The old, “Be an easy-going girl” line is a form of manipulation to get you to do what you know deep in your heart you don’t want to do. It doesn’t earn your brownie points with the accuser which is what they are. They are accusing you of being uptight and rigid.  By going along with them you are only allowing yourself to be manipulated and used and all the while they are losing respect for you as they go.

3. Have Fun and Be fun.

Men love a fun and free girl. Not free in the sense that her vagina is being given away for free along with her self-respect and dignity but free in the sense that she is engaging and easy to be around. The best way to be these things is to have interests that are diverse, so you can engage in diverse conversations about different topics. Do you like sports, why not join a team. Are you a girly girl? Why not show how diverse you are by having interests that are more than hair and make up. First of all this will throw many men off and they will expect you to only be stimulated by those things. But if you can show that you can not only wear the heels and pretty little things to work but can also freely slip into a pair of shorts and t-shirt and throw down on the volleyball court or hit a wicked slap shot on the ice during a game of hockey. How intriguing will you be? Why? Because those things don’t seemingly go together.

4. Learn how to cook.

Now I’m not trying to set the women’s movement back a few years but the saying that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach wasn’t coined by accident. Its true. Now, let me clear and say that I am not advocating to throw down in the kitchen like you’re the next iron chef on the first date. A good cooked dinner should be earned once your date has proven (after more than 3 dates) that he is a good guy and has already shown you signs that he is looking for a commitment. No man will respect an unearned effort. If has done nothing to earn such a great treat then he won’t respect you nor will he feel that he has to put forth any more effort to win you over since he already seemingly has you. Men like a challenge and they like to know that they have slayed dragons and walked over bridges to earn your love and respect. When you hand him a 5-star coarse meal on the 3rd date he will wonder if you do this for everyone and what he has done to deserve such a  treat. He will also wonder how much you respect yourself and your self-confidence to do something so extravagant when you hardly know each other. Those are thoughts you DON’T want him to have about you.

I hope this list helps Diva’s and Divo’s (my male Diva’s)!

Till next time 🙂