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Today is such a beautiful day! The sun is shining, there is a nice breeze and the sky is a pretty shade of blue. It looks more like a summer day than the end of september. I love it when the weather is nice and the sun is shinning! I’ve been thinking lately to join the walk for Cancer that happens every year in October. I’ve been dragging my feet because Cancer is not talked about in my house. I realize I have not dealt with it as yet. Its something that happened and now its gone and my mother doesn’t want to talk too much about it. She wants to continue thinking and declaring herself Cancer free. Which is fine I guess but I’d like to talk to someone at least. I think if we did talk about it I wouldn’t have such an aversion to talking about it with anyone else and I wouldn’t be scared of walking this year. I’m afraid to be around others who have been through this and I don’t want to cry. Sounds selfish but it was really hard being in the hospital alone while my mom had her surgery. I cried privately away from her because it felt like such a heavy burden to bear. It scared me more than I’ve ever been and I felt alone.

I’m going to call today and find out if its too late to join the walk maybe its what I need to heal too.

Talk to you all later