I was recently watching Joyce Myers tv broadcast and she brought up an interesting question: have you truely forgiven the one who hurt you and of course it got me thinking about the one who hurt me. She said if you still feel anger, or resentment for that person or if you can’t wish them well in the future than you have not forgiven them from your heart.
So I began to reflect and ask myself those important questions and the answers were sobering. This past Friday my friend and I discussed the ex as I drove home and she and I agreed on a few things about love and I told her I no longer want to be with him anymore. I felt angry as we talked about everything because we went over a few things surrounding his departure. I realized, though I don’t want to be with him I still feel abandoned by him when I needed him the most. Its true that my family stepped up and really came together for me but I believed what this person whom I loved told me.
So I decided to have a candid discussion with God about it. Its not like I can lie to him and say I’ve forgiven someone whom I don’t wish well and I still have left over anger issues with. They say to confess with your mouth the things in your heart so as I walked down the street this morning, with cars whizzing by I told God out loud that I still feel anger and resentment for what the ex did and that I am not where I need to be in order to feel total forgiveness and let everything go. I felt better.
I want to forgive him for everything and not be afraid to live my life for fear that someone might mention him or some scenario that is similar to what happened and I begin to feel sad and angry all over again. I want to be free…completely free!
Till next time folks!