Not only was last night fun, it was proof of how great you can feel after you stop blaming yourself for the demise of your relationship. I enjoyed watching my friend get married. I enjoyed the other couples too and I didn’t feel bad about any of it.
A sweet older woman named B asked me last night about the ex because she didn’t know that we were not together anymore. I listened to her question and it didn’t bother me for one moment to answer and tell her we were no longer seeing each other. I didn’t dread the questions, I didn’t feel sad about it, I just told her and that was that. She looked at me with concern because she knew us but I smiled back and tried to reassure her that I was indeed fine and not to worry. I was proud of that moment because I went on for the rest of the night and enjoyed myself without feeling any kind of negative feelings whatsoever.
Previously, I alluded to looking forward to the wedding so that I could see M but really it was because I love, love, love dressing up and being girly and feminine. I picked out my top and skirt combination then changed my mind last-minute. I changed into a one shoulder grey dress with gun-metal embellishments on the shoulder. I paired it with silver heels and jewelry and did a Farah Fawcet flip with my own little spin on opting for an over the eye side sweeping my bang. I finished it off with silvery eye make up and pink lipstick and looked at myself in the mirror and thought “Damn! watch out now!”. I made sure I paid attention to the details such as my nails and toes matching. I made sure my legs were smooth just in case while they brushed up on the hand or leg of a hot man at the wedding. Which turned out to be a wise move because those chairs at the wedding (it was an outdoor wedding) were so close that you couldn’t help but brush up on someone. Yikes! Anyway, it all may sounds diva-ish and a bit vain but it’s not. Its enjoying being my most feminine and fiercest self. I felt good about the way I looked, I felt positive in my head because I stopped blaming myself for things that were out of my control and a funny thing happened, I also didn’t feel like I had to prove anything to anyone there. I just sat back and relaxed in great company feeling free to be myself.
Let me tell you, you are at your best when you feel your best. Tell yourself your hot stuff and you become hot stuff. Tell yourself you’re not because of x,y, and z and guess what? Thats what you become. I crossed my t’s and dotted my i’s so I knew I was bringing the fire but that’s because I enjoy being girly and I was feeling and thinking positively. Feeling positive and sexy and thinking positive about myself was communicated in the way I walked, the smile I gave everyone, the alluring glances from underneath my swoop bang, the tiny flirty smile I gave the doorman and watched him drop his jaw and lean back against the wall, everything it all poured out. When you feel sexy, you act sexy. When you feel sexy and look feminine, men are putty at your feet.
But it all begins inside your head. If you tell yourself your hot but secretly blame yourself for the ex leaving, cheating and anything else that went bad in the relationship then it will all cancel out. It will be like a push and pull effect, each tugging and waring for control over one of your most precious commodities, your self-esteem. Either one winning means very different consequences for you’re in the short-term with reaching consequences in the long terms.
If you want to start feeling good from the inside out, do things that you enjoy. I enjoy doing girly things, among a variety of other thing’s so that’s what I do. For you, it might be playing a sport, doing a craft, engaging in a favorite pastime, or it could be dressing up and taking care of your outward appearance (going to the gym, doing your nails, hair, makeup) but whatever it is do more of it in order to help yourself feel good. It only makes sense. In the meantime, while you are doing that, work on yourself from the inside and make sure you have a healthy and positive outlook on who you as a vibrant and fabulous woman (or handsome and relevant man).
How are you taking care of yourself today? How do you feel?