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I had a dream the other night about the ex. I dreamnt he wanted to say something to me but he kept hesistating opting instead to look at me perplexed from a distance. The sad part is I had that dream right when I began to feel good. Which seems to be what happens. I put him out my mind, I start to feel better than I have that ominous dream that let’s me know he might be thinking of contacting me to say something or another.

But this time I have a plan…

I plan to not answer my phone nor do I plan to read any texts that he may send. I need to start protecting myself and stop letting curiosity and the “what if” cause me to go against my better judgment and do something that’s going to wind up making me feel depressed and down for weeks. I need to stop setting myself back. Today as I made my slow walk from the dentist to my house I briefly thought about how he would have been there if we were still together. It came across my mind twice and at 1 point I thought I saw him. I blame that on whatever was in that needle that they injected into me 5 times to extract my tooth. In any case I thought it was him. I came home and told myself I don’t need him. My mom is helping me because I still feel dizzy and I’m happy with that.

Hurricane Irene and its impending approach on New York City caused me a lot of concern when it the evacuation orders were broadcasted all over twitter and the news. I called my cousin and her tone told me she didn’t care to talk to me. She told me they won’t be evacuating because they have no where to go. I’m concerned. My prayers are with them. I don’t plan to call said cousin again. I’ve done nothing wrong to her nor do I deserve her tone and hautiness. I wish them well and I plan to only follow up with my aunt from here on out.

I don’t like drama.

Have a good night everyone!