, , ,

What kind of positive affirmations do you tell yourself everyday? or do you tell yourself negative things? Did you know that you believe more of what you say to yourself them you do of what someone else tell’s you?

So if you tell yourself that your worthless, not pretty, will never love again, your undesirable etc., etc., than that’s what you will believe. Even if someone else is telling you the opposite. So why not tell yourself something positive?

I am gorgeous

I am desirable

The man of my dreams will come into my life today

I am expecting a cheque for $75K in the next 30 days

I am vibrant

or whatever positive thing you want to tell yourself.

I think change and positivity has to start with YOU. Only YOU can be the change in your life that you need. No one else can complete you. You complete yourself. It’s a travesty, growing up watching tv shows, and eventually soaps with my mom as a little girl, watching that soap actress stare up at her prince charming and utter the biggest lie next to ‘the baby is yours’, “you complete me” than she passionately kisses him like he was her sustenance. Ugh! Millions of women around the world would sigh and secretly wish that they could have that moment in their real life with their husbands or boyfriends. So I grew up thinking I would meet a guy who would complete me. What that really did was deceive me into thinking that I could go into a relationship with the expectation that someone else would fill in the areas of my life that required MY work for me. That’s a recipe for dependency, being clingy, and insecure. That’s not an ideal relationship, it’s a guarantee that your relationship will crash and burn and you will become that clingy, insecure, ‘why are you not making me happy like I thought you were supposed to do’ EX-girlfriend.

It wasn’t till my last year of high school that a teacher tackled this thought system that, it was finally explained how wrong this type of thinking was. A man can not complete you. The best relationships occur when both party’s go into it complete and therefore bring new and fresh perspectives to each other that adds that special quality to the relationship. So I continued growing up never wanting to be completed by anyone.

I think that’s why it’s important, now that this relationship has ended, for me to take the time to repair all the way’s I had been eroded away by an ex who had issues of his own. It’s important for me to shed the, “I can save you” mentality that I had with him because I believed this was a part of being a “good girlfriend”. I have to continue to tell myself that I am not all the things he projected on me which he later admitted were his issues. I need to stop expecting and articulating out loud that he is going to re-show up in my life after a period of time. He made his decision with, or without a clear mind and I have accepted it so now I’m moving on.  I have to shake this secret fear that I won’t be able to connect with the man of my dreams because I will. I don’t want that kind of negative thought to get root in my psyche so I will actively work to get it out.

I want to live well and a part of living well is getting a rein on my thoughts and not dwelling on negativity. Not only will it affect the quality of my life but it will also affect my femininity. A woman can not be her most feminine self if she is constantly engaging in negative thoughts. It will affect the “vibe” that she sends out and that vibe will ultimately be received and turn off a quality man while simultaneously attracting an ass clown, an emotionally unavailable man, or a general fool looking for an ego stroke because he bagged a hot girl. I talk about that on my blog on Femininity (which I am in the process of transferring over to wordpress-I’m still not sure yet).

When you talk to yourself positively, your goal is to elevate your feelings from negative to positive. When your feeling positive you attract positive things and people which should ultimately be your goal because who doesn’t want an enriched life? It’s actually that simple. One of the ways to elevate your mood when your trying to talk positively is to be grateful. Having an attitude of gratitude works wonders to elevate your mood. Be thankful for the things you do have around you. It can start as little as the sun in shining in the sky, to the roof over your head. Start off small and grow from there.

When my mother was at Princess Margaret Hospital having her breast cancer surgery I wandered down to the cafeteria to get something to eat and try to unwind a bit (i.e not cry but stay strong for myself and my mother). After I ate I came across their gift shop and bought a gratitude stone. Everyday for 3 weeks I held that stone and thanked God for something. It not only elevated my mood but a lot of good things began happening to me. The stone wasn’t magic but what it reminded me to do every time I touched it was. I smiled more, laughed more, yes I still cried when I came home because my heart was still broken but I didn’t cry as hard and for as long. Another magical thing that started happening was after I cried it was like I was completely fine afterwards. Hard to explain but I would calm right down.

I don’t cry anymore, but I’ve found that gratitude rock and have began using it again. I’m determined to get over this. If it worked then, it will work now. Time to kick this into gear.

What are your affirmations? Have you practiced an attitude of gratitude?

Till next time folks!