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I haven’t put up an update on D43 or Muscle in a while because I was thinking about my decisions and mulling over how I felt. I made a decision to keep prospects in my life that were actually showing active interest and not just paying lip service. In other words, I only wanted to put my thoughts, energy and feelings into men whose words matched their actions. Muscle and D43 simply didn’t do those things.

Muscle looked great and even though he was young I didn’t entirely rule him out. I had an honest conversation with him on BBM where I told him it didn’t seem that he was interested in me since he didn’t put forth any real effort to contact me or set up a date for us to meet. I told him everything just seemed kinda up to me to hint, or put out interest in meeting. I just don’t want to be that girl who does all the heavy lifting and leg work in the beginning to get the ball rolling. I believe, and have seen in the past that if a woman does the heavy lifting, and all the leg work i.e. calling, initiating bbm’s texts in the beginning it will set the trend and the pace for the rest of the relationship and the roles will be reversed. Suddenly I will be the one being masculine and he will be the feminine one on the receiving end feeling emasculated the entire time. I believe a man should be a man and pursue the woman he is interested in. Anything less than that is him sitting back and basking in the attention that he didn’t have to work for. So after a week of bbm tag I deleted him off my list and I haven’t heard from him since.

I did the same for D43. I think he has a lot going on right now. Perhaps with multiple women whom he is experiencing a lot of stress from. Not to mention he hints at having money trouble’s when he previously was very confident about his financial situation. Or maybe he was alway’s having these types of troubles but he has reached a point where he can’t hide it behind a wall of lies anymore. Either way he is stressed out. When I first met and began going on dates with him back in May he was a lot more confidant and sure of himself. Not anymore and whatever it is, its beginning to show on him.

Based on the things he told me on our last date I think he is going through an internal struggle and has realized he is 43 and has no children, or wife after all these years of playing around and “dating” model type women who he knew deep down inside had nothing to offer him more than their bodies. I believe him when he says he wants kids and a serious relationship but there is something else going, on that he needs to deal with before he can make that desire come true.  It seem’s that in itself is causing him a lot of turmoil. He needs to work that out away from me.  It sounds harsh but I got the distinct impression that it’s a lot of drama.  As a result he’s emotionally unavailable right now. I’m not his saviour and I have to be wise about who I let take up my time.

So right now, D43 and Muscle are out. If they can get their act together and I am available than maybe we can have a go at it again. But most likely it’s not going to happen because at this point I’m not interested anymore. I wish them well.

Have a good night everyone

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