Sorry, I have been MIA but I had family over for the past few days and it has been a little hectic. My cousin came who by all accounts is my best friend or so I thought until she showed me a different side to herself in these four days. Needless to say she is not my best friend anymore. I love her but it dawned on me clearly that even though she is family and I love her it doesn’t mean we should be friends. You are the company you keep and I don’t click with her, not at the current mindset that she has.
The former teacher in me will preface my conclusion about her by going with the two positives for every one negative rule, or at least try to.
1. She loves family
2. She really cares about her mom
3. She is the most grumpiest, most miserable person I have had to encounter in a long time.
Nothing like the person I’ve had the pleasure of communicating with via regular text and the occasional phone call from time to time over the years. Nothing pleased her. And I do mean nothing. She is from New York and she criticized everything from the colour of ONE of the many taxi company’s that serves my city, to the HST tax on our goods and services to the condition of the roads, the food, the weather (it was too humid for her) everything. And I do mean everything. She didn’t want to eat, she hated the coffee, the Tim Hortons, the bagels everything. AT one point I wondered what, if anything could make her happy?
She said she wanted to go to a lounge so we researched some nice lounges in Yorkville, a rich and ritzy area in downtown Toronto only to have her back out of it last minute. We ended up going to a club the next day and she sat and sulked like an angry baby who lost his pacifer as we sat in the VIP area. I don’t know. This was supposed to be a good 4 day stay-cation with family that turned into me counting down the minutes till I could drop her off to the bus station and drive back home. I literally couldn’t wait.
The she jumped on my preferences for men. Her views on relationships is they should be mono-racial and that’s it. She also sees nothing wrong with being a side piece to a man who is interaccially involved as long as said man is the same skin colour as her. I was shocked. I’ve never seen myself as being anyone’s option or accepting of crumbs from a man so why should I do so because we share the same skin colour? What does his skin colour have to do with determining the crap I take from him and my ability to recognize it as crap and run the other direction? I want to live well and be happy not be a hoe on the side while he is legally married to and dedicating his main resources, (time, title, money etc) to another woman who happens to not share the same race as me and accept his disrespect of my body, mind, soul and resources? Someone who accepts such behaviour as normal and seeks it is damaged to me. It sounds harsh but if you don’t love yourself enough to want more and expect other’s to treat you with the same respect that but rather normalize disrespect of yourself, and your life and actually seek this form of “love and affection” then what else can you classify yourself to be?
I never saw my cousin as damaged. But as I listened to her say things like, she doesn’t see the importance of commitment and monogamy, nor does she believe in the institution of marriage or its place in society, say that nothing lasts forever, voice her disdain for interracial relationships, voice her preference for being a crumb container for a man of her race who wishes to use and abuse her body then run back to his interracial relationship, than brow beat me on my opinions and views while she closed her ears and continued to spew her message it became clear to me that she was just that…damaged.
There’s a saying in my culture that roughly translated says “To see a person and live with that person are two different things” which was so very true these past few days.
Also, she clipped her finger nails and let them fall/fly around in my car as we drove yesterday. Who does that? I would never cut my finger nails and let them fly around in someone’s car. Thats disgusting! I’m so done with her not to mention disgusted. AND she constantly slammed my car door every time she got in it. WTF?? UGH!!!
Now if you will excuse me I am going to vacuum my room and car, change my sheets and scrub her hand prints from off my full length mirror (why was her hand all over it anyway?) and try to enjoy the rest of my days off. In fact, without her here it will be very easy to enjoy my remaining vacation time.
*Cheers to peace and quiet and a clean and grumpy free house*
And to think I blogged about feeling lonely. Don’t get me wrong, I love her but she and I are not best friends anymore. I think we will be just cousins from now on which is good enough for me.
Have you had any nightmare stories with family staying over? Was it a hell-ish time?
Tell me all about it!