Call me sensitive but lately I have had a particular consciousness when it comes to people cheating or being cheated on.
For example I was watching my favorite Canadian show Rookie Blue and one of the officers was cheated on by her detective boyfriend/fiance Luke. He cheated with his ex gf who is also a detective and works in the same precinct. Understandably McNally (the officer cheated on was hurt) and as this Thursdays episode wrapped I found myself shedding a small tear because I knew how she felt, the betrayal, shock, hurt and everything else that came along with it. In other words I could relate.
Afterwards I sat and thought about what just happened. I asked myself why did I shed a tear, and why was I so “sensitive” to her situation? Maybe its because on a show you see all aspects of the issue involving the main characters. So I understood her nieveness and his a-hole spiral into sleeping with his ex who walked out of his life suddenly years earlier (I use understand for him loosely). Its going to be interesting to see what happens next week after Luke told the ex he doesn’t want anything to do with her. For a moment I wanted to reach through the tv and slap her so hard and possibly do more but I retsrained that thought and relegated it to a deep sigh instead.
A week or so ago someone close to me confessed to a momentary lapse in judgment while on a company excursion. Alcohol, warm tropical weather and a happy hour were all factors that contributed to her boss “walking her to her room to make sure she was safe” and ending up ontop of her exploring her mouth with his tongue. She, for her part said she was very drunk and didn’t even remember the incident. But he did. And when they got back he walks into her office and asks to talk to her about it. After explaining his version she immediately tells him it can’t happen again. Instead he asks for a second go around she turns him down pointing to the fact that he’s married.
Now is this her fault? Well she could have been more cautious with the alcohol but at the end of the day he knew he was married with 2 kids and a wife and he knew he was her possible soon to be boss so whose at fault here? As I sat and listened I couldn’t help but wonder how his wife must be thinking everything is as normal (possibly thinking) and her her husband is texting another woman asking her for lunch, tea, coffee and anything else to get her alone with him.
Eventually he became her boss and she says its not awkward but…
Then there is my friend whose husband cheated on her with multiple women. She found out months into their first year of marrige when she stumbled on text messages from other women lauding their sexual fulfillment from his magic stick and complimenting his cute baby girl. My friend had no idea that when he took their brand new daughter out with him these hoes were buying her outfits, holding her and screwing her husband. She was livid and it nearly tore their new marriage apart. Well 3 years later they are still together and I thought happy but I was wrong. She recently confirmed via heavy hinting that she is cheating on him with another man whom she frequently spends time with.
I didn’t think she would do that. I figured she would divorce him but does 2 wrongs make a right? What if he finds out? Despite his prior doggish ways one thing is certain he does everything and anything for his daughter. In turn his daughter loves him tremendously. They are quite close. So I wonder if he were to find out how would he react? She is having fun now and is happy but I don’t think cheating is the rebuttal to his string of hoes, sluts and skanks. I don’t want to judge her but I’m concerned.
Maybe its me being sensitive because my ex cheated on me and I would have never thought he would do that to me. Then again I was in love and that invariably brings blindness to certain cues. I accept responsibility for my own blindness but not for his actions. Nevertheless I wonder if I am being sensitive or normal?
Have you ever been cheated on and become sensitive to finding out people in your social circle are doing the same? Did you judge them? Write them off or see their situation as the exception to the ‘cheaters must all burn in hell’ rule?
Let me know what your thoughts are.