Funny thing about bullshit is it always smells the same. Europe and I had some fun times but deep down inside I didn’t feel that much of a connection with him. A few things bothered me about him that prevented that connection:
1. He smokes
2. Every time he wants to meet its to get a drink – why can’t we just have dinner or see a movie?
3. Our last date his eyes were shifting too much towards the waitress when she came around and hers to his.
4. He can’t seem to take no for an answer and as a result tries to convince the other person to either see it his way or go along with him
All of these things were noted by my subconscious and bubbled to the surface as red flags. I simply didn’t like it and I couldn’t ignore them as they ignited feelings of annoyance and a general sense of being turned off.
So as we sat outside the mall and he smoked I couldn’t help but feel annoyed at each drag of his cigarette and at almost everything he said. There’s a funny thing about Body Language. It will tell everyone what your thinking even if your lips won’t. My body leaned away from him and when he came close I closed in on myself because I didn’t want to kiss him and I didn’t like him in my space. Who the hell likes kissing a smoker? And I didn’t think I should kiss someone who gave me so many red flags.
That’s why I pushed him away when he came closer to kiss me. Why send the message that I like you the way you are when I don’t like so many aspects of your personality as my potential love interest?
After our first date I went to bed and as I turned to my comfy spot I heard this still voice in my heart say “He”s not the one for you” and it made me stop and wonder for a minute. That night when I fell asleep I had a vivid dream that I was at his house (I know where he lives) and his mom and another younger female were upset and as I watched this scene unfold a man stood beside me and says “they won’t accept you” then I woke up. Warning in the form of a dream??
Well he went away for the long weekend and I didn’t hear from him so I texted him monday and he told me some story of his uncle passing away from Cancer. Now he did tell me his uncle was sick but somewhere inside I doubted that he passed away. I just had a feeling that wasn’t true and I don’t put it past people to make something up like that. People can be caniving and not everyone cares about what is coming out of their mouth as long as they can wiggle off the hook. I’ve seen it happen.
Then alarm bells started going off in my gut and the one thing I’ve learned from this past relationship with the ex is to trust my gut when those alarms go off. If I had before I could have saved myself quite a bit of hurt. So I went with my gut and asked Europe if he changed his mind about me.
He texts me back after a 2 minute pause (tell-tale sign #1) that he is on a different boat and he doesn’t want to hurt my feelings. *insert eyebrow raise here* What does that mean?? So after a clarification question brought another cryptic message I texted him back and said:
“I don’t understand what that means. It sounds like BS to me Europe. I wish you well. Goodbye”
He didn’t reply. Then I went on facebook and deleted him from my friends list thanks to the magic of the Facebook application on my phone. Done and done. Funny thing is bullshit always smells the same no matter whose chucking it around. On to the next one. I have an appointment tonight to see a popular matchmaker. I’ll see what they have to say.
If its one thing my friend has taught me is its always good to have a little money in the bank. My uncle also says (way before Jay-Z did) to always have insurance for your insurance!
Words to live by
Till next time